Being born with a twin or twin brother has its advantages and disadvantages. Among the drawbacks is being two blow babies for a single mother and a single father, so the work in reference to the most common "unique baby" is doubled, while the attention is divided: when mom or dad is left alone with the two, you can not always attend to them at the same time if they cry, for example.
Among the advantages is the most obvious: each of them arrives in the world with a travel companion, and although at the beginning when they are small, they do not report too much benefit, to which they begin to interact and play, they can be brothers, friends, playmates, etc. And in addition to this there is another advantage: when they go to school they have each other. Or not, because there are centers where they are separated, as happened to these two twins we are talking about today.
Years later, after a long struggle, the courts have ruled that the twins can go to class together if their parents want.
A story of horror and absurd humor
I say terror and humor because as I read it my mouth was opening more and more, in plan "I can't believe it". And I can not come to understand that something so simple, so logical and so obvious has to end up in court for a judge to pass sentence (Are we crazy or what?).
I summarize it so that you understand what I mean: as we read in El País, the story of the couple with their children (boy and girl) began in the 2014-2015 academic year, when with three years they were enrolled in school Arias Montano from Badajoz. The previous year they had gone to the nursery together and were happy like that. When they started preschool they ran into a norm they did not expect: twins and twins separate, each to a different class.
Faced with this situation, one always goes to the highest degree ordinance, the law, to see how far they can take such action if the parents disagree. Well, the law says nothing about it, so let each autonomous community regulate it as it deems appropriate, and in the absence of a rule, the final responsibility rests with schools.
In this educational center they did so, so that their children started the course each in a different class. There the problems began with the children: they wondered why they didn't go together, and when they saw that the situation was repeated every day, they came to tell them that they didn't want to go to school.
At the end of the course the parents asked for a change, to bring them back together, again arguing that the children would be better and happier together. As the parents explain, the principal stood firm following the rule, denying the request. Then it was decided from the school to transfer the final decision to the Provincial Delegation of Education, which said the same thing, that they should be separated.
In 2015, when changing the Government of Extremadura, the parents went to the Provincial Delegation, and from there a school guidance team composed of a psychologist, a psychopedagogue and a social worker was sent, who concluded that it was better to go together. Here, as you imagine, is where you have the feeling of watching a humorous movie, but of the absurd: do you really have to create a team of professionals to study such a situation? No one had reached this conclusion before?
Then the story takes an amazing turn. Despite the report, the director refused to bring the children together and the delegate, who had requested the report, eventually sided with the school, supporting her decision.
At that point the parents valued the possibility of changing them from school, but the course had begun and they chose to sue the center requesting precautionary measures so that the children went together until the sentence was ruled. Thus, on November 16, 2015, the judge agreed to impose them and the brothers could finally go to class together. From that moment, both children went better to school and the one who had more problems, was overcoming them.
Last January the resolution favorable to the parents finally arrived, and the Junta de Extremadura considered them good, respecting the sentence (they could have appealed). The judge, of heHe added that the decision to separate or not the brothers should be flexible and open, because it would mean avoiding "static decisions, fixed a priori without taking into account the singularities of the twins. The centers must be flexible."
A matter of respect and taking advantage
And why is it better not to separate them? Because it is the most respectful for two children of just two or three years. Autonomy, the ability of such a small child to live without their parents is acquired over the years. The best thing for all children of this age is that they could go to school in the presence of their parents for at least one year, so that they felt, little by little, that it is a familiar and trustworthy place in which to play and learn with their referent Present. But parents cannot be there for a year, so what they call "adaptation period" is done, which in many cases is totally insufficient (days and in the worst case, hours), but that stays in a " something is something ", which is complemented by a" will get used to it ".
Well, the twins have the advantage that I commented at the beginning: they do have someone to accompany them (the brother) and make it easier for them to adapt to the new environment. Separating them does not put them at the same level as the rest, but even worse, because they suffer two losses, two separations: that of mom and dad, who leave them alone in school, and his brother's, which leaves him alone in class.
That is, the norm should not be to separate them, but quite the opposite: the norm should be, in all schools, to keep them together. And once together, depending on the dynamics, depending on the adaptation, as more or less capacity for development, learning and relationship with other children is appreciated, we study how to continue.
Many times there is a separation of children when going from preschool to elementary school. Well, that is a good time to see what can be better for them: if they get along, if they get along less well, if one of them depends too much on the other and that is why it does not relate much to other children, if one of the two could do well without the other, or if it is best to stay together. And so, until another redistribution of the groups is done again, as is usually done in schools.
You have to go to school happy and happy and, according to the movement of effective schools, predisposed to enjoy and learn in an orderly and safe climate. Getting the first weeks and months of a child in school to be worse by separating him from his brother breaks with this intention and makes it more difficult to adapt to the new environment.
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In Babies and more | Twins at school, together or separately ?, What to consider when choosing a school (I) and (II)
