Oriol and Maite are a couple from Barcelona with two twin children who were born in the United States through a process of surrogacy. Its history may be similar to that of hundreds of couples who are parents annually through this technique, which although it is not legal in Spain, it is recognized in other countries such as Russia, the United States, Ukraine or more recently in Portugal, among others.
Maite he could realize his dream of being a mother thanks to a pregnant woman that brought back the joy and hope that long ago the Cancer He had taken it away. Two years after that, the words of gratitude and respect towards the woman who gestured to her children, continue to excite those who listen to them.
How and when did they start with this process?
At just 20 years old, Maite was diagnosed of uterine cancer. After the hysterectomy and chemotherapy sessions, Maite and her partner realized that their long-awaited dream of being parents could not come true naturally.
Four years after the illness, they decided to resort to adoption but they faced the bureaucracy and the requirements that prevented them from adopting in less than five years after the onset of cancer.
"When we started the adoption process, we went to an informative talk in which at no time was it informed that the presence of a past or present illness could stop or prevent the adoption. Even so, at the end of the meeting, we decided to present our case concrete to the person who gave the talk but did not give any importance to my past illness "
Maite and Oriol started the workshops and passed the personal interviews in which, once again, the couple emphasized the cancer that Maite had suffered four years ago.
"After a month we received a letter that told us that at that time we were not fit but after 5 years from my operation we could reapply and they would study the situation again, although they confessed that cancer was a controversial disease that could be grounds for exclusion, so we were not guaranteed that our file would be accepted ""The day after the interview they called us to ask us for the cancer report and inform us that from that moment on the procedure was stopped until the committee of the regulatory public body gave approval to our situation "
Desolate by the new situation, the couple began to value other alternatives and the surrogacy was the one that best fit his illusions and perspectives.
United States, the cradle of his dream
Maite at the airport, on one of the trips he made to the United States Once the idea of surrogacy was accepted and studied, Maite and Oriol decided to start the process in the United States. The reasons that led them to choose this country to the detriment of others were, in his words:
- The absolute legality of the process in which both parties are protected by law and there is absolute freedom, both on one side and on the other.
"It was important for us that once our children were born, in the abirth certificate will state their names with our last names. Before birth, a filiation sentence is issued by a judge in which we are recognized as parents and in which the pregnant woman declares that she will never claim that baby. "
"If in California, a pregnant woman claimed the baby, she would face very important economic sanctions and even jail sentences."
"In Spain, to enroll a baby born by surrogacy, it is essential that this process be carried out in a country where it is regulated and that it also issues a filiation sentence. And both are taken into account in the state of California."
On the other hand, the agency. The couple was looking for an agency where they not only speak Spanish but also offer all services, including legal. In this way, they would not need an intermediary in Spain and that would make the process cheaper.
And last but not least, the choice of the pregnant woman which must be carried out reciprocally, that is, the couple chooses but the pregnant woman also has to agree.
"We had to fill out a form in which we explained why we wanted to be parents and what was the reason that prevented us. They also had to fill theirs. We read several records of women that fit with what we were looking for and we discussed it with the agency to to send them our profile and interview us via Skype in case of affinity "
The interview is carried out between the future parents and the future pregnant woman, always in the presence of the agency, and important issues such as abortion, the number of embryos to be transferred, the conditions set by the couple, those established by the pregnant woman, the time of delivery ...
"Ultimately, we opted for California because it legally covered both us and our children - who since they were born are Spanish and American citizens - and the pregnant woman. No other country offered us this security and guarantees""When there is disagreement between both parties on any of the points, the proposal is rejected and we must keep looking"
The choice of the pregnant woman and the fertilization process
In California, pregnant women cannot bring genetic burden to the baby, so the couple had to resort to donor eggs. They traveled to the United States to know the clinic that would carry out the fertilization process, and to provide Oriol's semen.
Once this step was completed, they began to look for the pregnant woman and after several interviews the feeling mutual with a 26 year old woman and mother of two children.
"Our pregnant woman explained to us that being a mother had been the greatest thing in the world and because she had the facility to have good pregnancies and births, she wanted to help other couples make their dream come true.In vitro fertilization was a success, and the pregnant woman became pregnant with twins on the first attempt.
"It was one of the happiest moments of our life and somehow we began to caress our great desire, our great dream that also came in double."
In Vitro Fertilization had borne fruit. Maite and Oriol would be parents of twins When I ask Maite about her relationship with the pregnant woman, his words cannot hide the emotion and affection he feels for her:
"Our relationship was wonderful and we live the pregnancy day by day thanks to her. In each medical review he called us on Skype to see our children on ultrasound and also to speak directly with the doctor. It was very reassuring because that way we could ask and see everything at the same time as her, it gave us a lot of confidence and tranquility "
"The connection we had with our pregnant woman was very close from the first moment and made us live the pregnancy as if the pregnant woman was me. We will always appreciate it. She is a very generous woman, with a great empathic capacity and an immense capacity to love. Our children are two years old and we still have the relationship that I believe will be for a lifetime. She says that we are her Spanish family and for us she is our American family"
The time of delivery
The pregnancy was going well, but after week 28 everything got complicated and because of the threat of premature birth, the pregnant woman had to keep absolute rest in addition to dealing with gestational diabetes. But despite the efforts, the little ones came to the world in week 32 of pregnancy by caesarean section.
Maite babies were born premature in week 32 of gestation The news of the birth of their children caught Oriol and Maite in surprise and they had to change the tickets to be able to fly immediately to the United States with them. The babies were born with 1.8 kg and 2.1 kg and were in an incubator.
"The hospital had a court ruling that declared that she was our pregnant woman and the legal parents were my husband and I. Therefore, when the babies were born, they were taken immediately and did not let her see them. But as we were going to take in to arrive, we decided to authorize our pregnant woman so that, while we arrived, she could see and take care of our children ""When we arrived at the hospital, the first thing we did was go see our pregnant woman. When we opened the door she got up to meet us and I could only hug her. We hardly got the words out, we were with the person who had made our dream of being parents come true and we didn't have words of thanks to show him everything that meant to us! "
"She stayed calm all the time, very happy and excited for the special, beautiful and sweet moment we were living. She was happy for us and she showed it to us."
The couple with their newborn babies Maite and Oriol had to remain in the United States for a few more weeks until their children were discharged. Meanwhile, they took the opportunity to arrange the papers and register them in the Civil Registry at the Spanish Embassy.
"Our children left the United States with an American passport and fifteen days after arriving in Spain, we received by mail all the documentation of the registry and the family book"
Would you repeat the experience?
"Now that everything has happened, we have our kids with us and we almost do not remember the emotional suffering that this process entailed, we would do it again with our eyes closed, although first we would have to touch the lottery"And it is that the economic factor is very important in these cases and the United States is, according to the Infertility company, one of the countries with the highest costs, standing at an average of 120,000 euros the surrogacy process in California.
"It was a very expensive process. We need the help of our parents and we had to ask for loans to be able to continue and fulfill our dream. The agency with which we made the process asked us all the money at once and without deadlines, so we had to from the beginning to face many costs derived from different concepts "
I say goodbye to Maite with emotions to the surface. I had never heard a case in the first person of surrogacy and after knowing its history and the affection and respect with which it speaks of the woman who gestured to her children, I firmly believe that both are fighters and extraordinary people. Two strong women that one day destiny united and that, since then, have not separated.
On the day of her children's second birthday, Maite dedicated these words to her pregnant woman: "I want you to know that your kindness, your immense generosity, your sweetness and your character were key to today being the family we are. THANK YOU!" 
