In family life it is common for discussions between the couple. From those for trivial things to others that really injure the family nucleus.
And I know that it is quite difficult that when a disagreement arises with the couple to think "well, I will discuss when the children fall asleep", but it is the same. You have to be aware and know that arguing in front of children does a lot of harm to them.
Discussing in front of children is something quite discouraged by specialists. Research has shown that children belonging to families with a high level of marital conflict suffer as many mental consequences as those from a separate family.
Children have a high level of fantasies, so in the face of parental arguments, they feel insecure in the face of a remote possibility of separation. It is a fear generated in the face of discussions that create uncertainty, they feel helpless in the face of crises. Children subjected to families with frequent discussions may present difficulties in the process of acquiring autonomy, may demonstrate aggressiveness, or withdrawal and difficulty in relating to other children is also very common.
Apart from the consequences, children develop strategies to deal with crises among their parents. They behave inappropriately to discuss with him and so parents divert their own discussion. Others ask not to quarrel, show indifference or argue between siblings.
The arguments and conflicts of couple must remain within it and never having as witnesses the children.
There are certain recommendations to parents to avoid the harm the arguments do to children:
- Having discussions outside the reach of children, in order to avoid all kinds of doubt and pain. Relationship issues should be discussed privately, without being heard. This is why it is recommended to wait for them to be sleeping or go somewhere else.
- Do not make the child take sides with some of the two.
- Do not transform children into their source of support.
- If the child asks, you should explain that the discussion is natural. But that there are certain ways to do it.
- Be attentive to attitudes (such as slamming doors, angry faces), since the little ones perceive all the details.
- When a couple is very dissatisfied, it is convenient to find a way to solve the problems on time. Seek therapeutic, because a life of separation or emotional disunity within marriage causes a lot of pain and is not a quality of life for adults, and of course, less for children.
